spark

spark
tensions rise
eyes wide shut
eyes wide open
is it what you call chemistry?
lying between us
always here
it has been here all the time
us as chemistry
will it always be here?
wanting to touch
though we're not allowed to
wanting to speak
though our mouths are clutched shut
wanting to kiss
but our lips are burned
it's just chemistry
and it will always be that way.

be gone

how many parts to look around?
i am still over here,
nothing will ever be found
i am no one to hear.
how many dreams would i want?
i am still asleep,
sleep endlessly till the signs of dawn
holding my thoughts to keep.
someday i will see
someday i will speak,
someday i will shout
when everything is turning weak.
waiting for certain voice to reach
i am still waiting,
someone will come to teach
i am still playing.
how many days to go through?
i am getting bored
counting days, hours, minutes & seconds, too
my life is too short for this.

lastly

i didn't ask for something
i didn't say anything
i didn't work on something
i didn't push on everything
i didn't pay you to love me.

*thank you, Prima, for putting this into your song.

always and

figure where myself is taking me
if following it would be my right choice
would it be wrong if i just stayed behind
and don't want to come along?
and turn my feet the other way
and learn something new?
questions unravelling my wicked faith
come back and try to be reborn
all because of love lost
and i just want to see the end
because i refuse to walk in it
to try to run out of it.

lightness

i would like to die
and turn myself into feathers.
light and airy
i would die of lightness.

hang out to dry

i will wait for some place to go
i will breathe for some sentence to say
is it too much for me to ask?
to do them all day by day?
i will wait for everything that i could find
put things together and make life out of it.

oldie

today i hold my both hands until they are red
i feel sorry for both my feet
because i can't hold them as i hold my both hands
i will go out of my chair that i have been sitting on
i pity my ass for not working at all
but then they can move a little as my body bends
my hair is broken for not being washed at all
as long as they don't get thin
lonely will my head be if my hair is gone
my fingers miss the touch of the strings
when i used to play around with almost everyday
slowly i am forgetting the moves
and my nails are growing long.

surrounded by

love just arrived to hurt
love was never meant to be
love was never love
and will never be love
for me and for me only
love will never meant for
and i will never long for
love that will never arrive
for i am doomed
so, love just go away
never put my hands on you.

lost in post

do i have a place to go?
you asked me but i have no answer
because i am not even sure
if i want to go somewhere.

...

being alone doesn't mean you're lonely
loneliness is a man's best friend
it never laves you
it never ignores you
it stands by you
it will always be there
waiting for you to need it.

midnight patch

damp eyelids shine across
trails searching for ends to fall over
the starry midnight sky is not soothing
blocking the view behind designed glass
strings of scenes play theatrical dimensions inside my head
troubling me which way to look
those scenes are now tasteless
you ask, "how come?"
you will know if you would understand
and try to take over my part.

are not real

i put dreams aside for they are nothing to me
and i am nothing to them
so why would i look up?
only to find that they are actually fading away
i descend myself
only for myself and not for them
cautiously watch out for each other
because if love is my enemy
then we should never hold hands
and not look each other in the eye
because everything would have been a lie
if we tried otherwise
i put myself to abide for everything is too much riot.

sweet tears

always hands
empty hands hanging beside me
dirty nails
sticky fingers stuck in my empty hands
don't wash them away
look for a new place
to try find some other hands or somebody else
or something that will remain as lines in my hands
they will cover my eyelids
sweetly yet tearfull
and lengths of despair flow
they flow down
run through my dirty nails to cleanse them away.

the lost & found will lay with their still love
& lift your echoing heart in private paradise of dreams
& an air that falls apart.
-bauhaus 1998

dome of glass

and so it it is
no moon, no stars
the midnight sky is now shattered
with the glimpse of my eyes
i watch late treasure
under the broken dome of glass.